Down, down, down

68lbs gone 57lbs to go to my goal of 160lbs

Over half way there.

I have surpassed the half way mark! 64lbs gone, 61lbs to go. That is real incentive to not overindulge tonight at the wedding. I have to say I am starving myself until then so I can have a few splurges. probably not the best idea but, whatever.

Good to be busy.

I made cookies for the college bond in my life. I make a mean vegan chocolate chip, pecan, coconut oatmeal cookie. Unfortunately it also meant I eat some cookies this week. I started a food journal again. My intake is not bad, but could be better. Having to write it down really makes me question if I really want to eat it.

To take some of the focus off my body and work a bit on me, the person. I figured that I need to get out and help some other folks. If that makes any sense. Im volunteering at a therapy horse back riding program one day a week. I've started to donate platelets again. Im thinking about meals on wheels(could I do that on my bike?) or a hospice group.

I have the trainer M,W,F this week. Horse therapy T afternoon, a baseball game on W evening, a wedding on F afternoon. Work M,W,Th. Dog sitting Th,F,S,S, M. Busy week.


In future news I found a Duathlon in my area on Oct 19th. I am so stoked!! 2m run, 10m bike, 2m run.

It's good to be busy.

Better today. But need some focus.

I had a good talk with my trainer. I'm his first client to lose any real amount of weight so it's new for him. We have a code now "that's just not going to happen today". I promised to only use it when I'm in an emotional state and not just tired or whiny. He promised to push me out of my comfort zone, within reason.

It really looks like a TT is in my future.

My weight loss has stalled. Might have something to do with the fact I'm not 'training' for anything anymore. Focus damn it! I need a focus.

Jiggle...slap..cry

I knew losing weight would mean my skin would become loose. I was not prepared for the resulting sounds that came with it.

I am disgusted by what I hear when I'm working out. The skin of my stomach is slapping against itself/my thigh. Today my trainer asked if the noise he was hearing was from my knee. Was the knee popping? I said yes, finished the session and almost ran out of the gym. I was so embarrassed.
I know exercise is the only way to get rid of the weight. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore when I'm working out. It is so self defeating. I want to cry.

I was excited to look at the pictures from the Triathlon, as they are "professional" photos. Well they capture a moment of momentum. All sorts of blubber shifting up and down. God is that what people see? At least I was smiling, blissfully ignorant as to what I really look like.

Im having a hard time with this. I've never actually had a body image problem. I knew I was fat but thought I looked pretty good at whatever weight I was at.

This is disheartening.

I'm Back

Bermuda was nice. It was a relaxing week.
I need to get back into exercising mode. I kind of blew it on the cruise. My mountain biking was canceled due to rain and the kayaking was not a workout because I was the only one there with experience so the group only went about 20 feet from shore and didn't go for very long. I did run one day on the deck but due to heavy seas and the pitch of the ship it was very difficult. End result was I ate too much and moved too little.
I sit here now thinking about the sweets I had, yum but not that wonderful. It's a bummer that I let that week go by without a loss and actually a gain. It could have been worse. In the past it would have been really worse.

Did an overnight trip to Vermont to checkout the flip house. Beautiful place Vermont.

It turns out that the question of the Tri on Oct 4th is a moot point as I now have a wedding to go to. I do need a new goal. Think Think Think

Do I want to Tri or get to goal?

I found another Tri in my area on Oct 4th. It's a little longer then the last one. 750 swim, 10m bike & 3.1m run. I really want to do it. My trainer on the other hand does not want me too. He said I should focus on getting a bit more weight off and train over the winter for a spring Tri. He has science on his side. Triathlons are not weight reduction sports. Don't get me wrong the weight is coming off, it's just slow. If I focused on fat burning I could lighten the load before the spring Tri and better my times.

What to do, what to do?????

I just have to share this with someone.

My hands are still shaking.

About 20 minutes ago I was bopping around on the computer and my dog started to bark and came running into the room, then went back out to the kitchen, still barking. I followed her because this is not regular behavior and she seemed to be wanting me to follow.
Well I found my husband bent over the kitchen sink CHOKING!! Since he couldn't get air in he couldn't yell for help. I did a few back blows. That didn't seem to do anything. He was heaving. I wrapped my arms around him and did the Heimlich. Man is that hard to do on a person that is straining their abdominals. Plus he is 6'1" and 180lbs. I told him to relax so I could do the Heimlich. He did. It worked. The chunk of food moved enough for him to get some air and cough. I did another back blow for good measure and then he cleared his own airway with his finger.
All is good now. Stubborn guy that he is he will not go the ER. He's relaxing, sipping water and coughing a bit. He has some big hand prints on his back that I think might be there for a while.

I never want to have to do that again.

PS I love my dog!!

I am a triathlete!!

I finished. I didn't come in dead last.

Edit- my time was 1:11.52

More on the horoscope front...

For today:

August 1, 2008

This day is going to unfold in some unpredictable directions, but not knowing exactly what is going to happen next might actually be a very good thing for you, right now. Look for it to spark your creativity by the afternoon and help you get started on a new path in some aspect of your life. You'll have the urge to start a few new social endeavors you've been contemplating for a long time -- finally, you've got the right attitude for trying something new.

This afternoon I pick up the Tri packet at the event venue. Will probably meet a lot of other Tri folks there.

Very interesting...

7:30pm
Im home. I picked up the race packet. Im #71. I walked a bit of the course. Not nervous yet. Kind of shell shocked.

O M G !!!!

So I looked up my horoscope for tomorrow- the Tri and:

(based on my Chinese sign of the horse)

Daily Overview for August 2, 2008

Ah, what a perfect day! The day of the Dog combined with the impact of the elements makes this day the best day of the year for you. Take advantage of this in as many ways as you can, keeping in mind that focusing on your strengths will indeed create optimal results. Do not cower from new challenges today, as others will notice your energy.

It is truly amazing!!

I wasn't as freaked as I thought I would be.

I swam in the 50m pool!

I got up early this morning and used the TENs machine on my back to loosen it up. I also took a hot shower and did some stretches in there too. Worked with trainer early AM. I felt good in the pool after the work with the trainer so I think I will do some light resistance work and abs on a ball the morning of the tri.
I'm still up in the air as to what to eat that morning. Probably some oatmeal and yogurt. The protein drinks don't do enough to keep me full. Then I need to pack Gatorade for the race.(and imodium)
I have to practice my transitions too. I think the hardest part will be putting on my socks and shoes after the swim. O well I'm just looking to finish. The good part about this being my first race is that it will also be my personal best time.

3 days and counting....

I "worked" with the trainer on Tuesday. Worked is not really correct. My back was so tight and I cant' work legs before the Tri so he stretched me out for 30 mins and I did about 20mins on the elliptical. Today I ran 2 miles. Tomorrow is trainer again-resistance training to keep muscles loose. Then a swim in the 50m pool. Woo Hoo. That will be another test of willpower and mind-psych.

I pick up the race packet on Friday afternoon.

I did sign up for some great excursions for the trip next week. A kayak and snorkel experience with Ken and a mountain bike adventure for me while Ken is golfing. The kayak will be a true pleasure. I haven't been out on mine this season at all. The bike adventure will be challenging as it will be 5-8 miles of trail. I don't know where the fudge factor is in that. 3 mile short cut? But hell I going to be in Bermuda and it will be beautiful!!

As of today I'm planning to compete.

Friday I worked with my trainer and biked a bit in the evening. Saturday was rest day. Today Ken & I got up early and biked . When we got home I wanted to go for a jog but two blocks down the skies opened up and it started to rain. Ken wasn't into getting soaked. It rained the whole day, some hail too.

Tomorrow starts the less intense workouts. Just cruising speed and no legs with the trainer(Tue & Thurs).

Weight is not going up or down. I'll take that until after the Tri. Then it's into fat burning mode!!!

Thanks for the encouraging comments!!

Scared of crapping out and giving up

Ya so me not posting means me not training.
I've really slacked off these past few days. With Kens party to organize and run I was a little stressed. Then my legs started to ache and it rained for 2 days. (I did work with the trainer Mon & Wed, and swam Tue)
I got to the pool where the Tri is being held and swam today. So many good swimmers just cruising along. Very intimidating.
I did meet a guy that is training for a half Iron. He was kind and said I was a good swimmer and should think about Tri's. I told him I 'd actually signed up for the one in 2 weeks and he wished me luck and said I should come train with his team. I love Triathlon folks!!!!

I'm waffling on showing up for the Tri. I have Ken saying I've given it a good shot and it is OK not to do it. Then I have Roger saying to not give up and I can do anything I put my mind too. Grr.

I really want to do this. I'm just scared of crapping out and giving up.

Brick training

Bike + Run + ICK! Ya my legs felt like rubber and I was seriously questioning the sanity of doing a Tri. Thank my lucky stars that Ken was with me or I would have dropped to my knees and become road kill.

I will do this!! Can I take my blanky with me?

Rock Climbing. Yep I did it!!

I've been to this place before with friends and said I "never wanted" to do it myself. That was Bull**it. I always thought I was too heavy and they wouldn't let me.

Today I climbed 6 walls more then half way and one to the top. We're talking over 50ft to the top.

It was fantastic!!

Getting Emotional.

Today I did my run on the treadmill because it's gunna be a humid day. So anyways I get really bored on that thing, running to nowhere. I had some good music going, Eminems Lose it, and I was imagining what it would be like at the Triathlon. I was at the 1.95 mile mark and realized I would be seeing the finish line by that point. I actually heard the cheering, and folks urging me on to finish. I started to cry and had to "mop the sweat away" to mask the tears. It was so emotional. I hope on the day I will be able to hold it together. Sometimes I can't believe I'm really doing this.


Worked with trainer and jogged. I'm going rock climbing this evening for the first time.

Stuff

Training and getting ready for Kens party Saturday. Lots to do.
Biked and swam today.

Yesterday I just trained at the studio, no running. My bad.

I have got to think of something for Julia's 18th Birthday. Think, think, think......

No Drinking For Amanda until after the Tri.

Took Saturday off. Not planned. Hung Over. Not good. Well getting there was good. I partied a bit too much this weekend, Friday night and Saturday block party. Drinking takes too much out of me. Im sluggish in the morning.
Got a late start today but the weather gods were with me and there was a nice breeze to keep me cool. Did 30 min swim, 6.23ml bike, 1.59ml jog. All between 11am and 1pm. Can you say push it! Ya but it felt good, after. Every time a doubt popped up I redirected my thoughts and pushed on. Im hungry. No one said anything about not eating.
TTFN

So of course I still have doubts.

. I posted on the Beginning Triathlon site. Some really supportive folks there.

Reminded me I might be last but I will have finished. Others told stories of not having a finish line to cross because it was packed up. Or another said that the last is cheered on more cause folks understand the effort.

Either way it was hard to get up this morning and run, but I did.

7/8-After a bottle of wine- I can do this!

Ya so I just had dinner with Roger and we finished 2 bottles of wine, I figure a bottle each. I can to the Tri. I might finish after they want to bring in the cones but I will finish!!
I biked and swam today. Good stuff.

I can't not do it.

Im having mind problems again with the Tri. My numbers are just not what I think they should be. I will be the last by about 20 mins longer the last place finisher of last years time.. I don't know if I can handle that. I know I can finish. I just don't know what the race folks and racers will do. I have four weeks to get the times faster. I have told everyone that I will be doing this. I have to do this.

I went shopping for running shorts. I still don't fit in the womens, so I got a mens. Whatever. I think they look the same.

Had apt. w/ Dr P today. Scale said I lost 12lbs since the last time I was there five weeks ago. 2.4lbs a week. Lets keep that up!! Side benefit of Tri training.

I ran(2.34ml) and worked with my trainer this morning.

She kicked my butt.

Got my butt out of bed early, 7am for a wog(interval training). 2ml in 26min. Got to gym early and did another 1.5 ml on treadmill and 2ml on seated bike. (30) Worked out hard with new trainer. I really liked her style. I am tired. I have been wanting to swim for the last couple of days but haven't got there. Maybe tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow was supposed to be a rest day. We'll see.

I had really great BBQ yesterday. Im having left overs for lunch. Yum!!

My mind is playing tricks with my will to do the Tri. Second guessing. Yet freaking do it!!!!

Seeing Powers on Monday. Last time (5/30) I was 246.

7/4

Easy ride not going for time. Just working out the kinks. It would have been longer but it started raining.

7/3 con't

Didn't swim tonight. Im beat.

training 7/3

First a run at 7am-13min ml


Than a ride with Ken at 8am-5.3min ml



Good day so far.

Swimming tonight- working to get under 15min for 400.

training 7/2

Worked with my trainer this morning. Walked around town and home. Should have swam.

I looked at the race results for the mighty last time. I really have to step it up a notch. 12 min swim and 20 min bike and run. And that is just the times of the last place finisher. God I hope I will make it.

training 7/1

This mornings run:


Todays bike ride:


Tonights swim:
20mins

I can do this!!

Todays bike training. I started at 8:30, already 75* and 95% humidity. I wish I had started earlier. It is going to be a hot and humid day!! Im going to swim later and tryout my new snazzy goggles.
In the middle of the ride I was second guessing this tri thing. Then I gave myself a mental kick in the ass. I can do this even if I use the climb the telephone gear on the bike, even if I walk the run. I will do this.

DFL>DFF>DFS!!!

I didn't do anything to train today. Im not happy about that. Tomorrow I am working with my trainer in the morning and then I will swim in the afternoon.

Day 1 continued

I just added a 400yd swim. Go Me!!

Day 1 training

This is the route I biked today.

Click this. Watch this. Dance!!

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) on Vimeo

Im a triathlete again- I hope

I did a triathlon about 5 years ago. It was a great feeling!! So to that end...

I have signed up for a triathlon this summer.

I've decided that I need a focus regarding exercise. I might be crazy but I have to challenge myself and be accountable to something.

It's not the big IronMan type. It is the sprint length, not that I will be sprinting. 400meter swim/6mile bike/2mile run.

God, I hope I don't make a fool of myself.

Hello world

Im going to give this blogging a try.