I knew losing weight would mean my skin would become loose. I was not prepared for the resulting sounds that came with it.
I am disgusted by what I hear when I'm working out. The skin of my stomach is slapping against itself/my thigh. Today my trainer asked if the noise he was hearing was from my knee. Was the knee popping? I said yes, finished the session and almost ran out of the gym. I was so embarrassed.
I know exercise is the only way to get rid of the weight. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore when I'm working out. It is so self defeating. I want to cry.
I was excited to look at the pictures from the Triathlon, as they are "professional" photos. Well they capture a moment of momentum. All sorts of blubber shifting up and down. God is that what people see? At least I was smiling, blissfully ignorant as to what I really look like.
Im having a hard time with this. I've never actually had a body image problem. I knew I was fat but thought I looked pretty good at whatever weight I was at.
This is disheartening.
I am disgusted by what I hear when I'm working out. The skin of my stomach is slapping against itself/my thigh. Today my trainer asked if the noise he was hearing was from my knee. Was the knee popping? I said yes, finished the session and almost ran out of the gym. I was so embarrassed.
I know exercise is the only way to get rid of the weight. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore when I'm working out. It is so self defeating. I want to cry.
I was excited to look at the pictures from the Triathlon, as they are "professional" photos. Well they capture a moment of momentum. All sorts of blubber shifting up and down. God is that what people see? At least I was smiling, blissfully ignorant as to what I really look like.
Im having a hard time with this. I've never actually had a body image problem. I knew I was fat but thought I looked pretty good at whatever weight I was at.
This is disheartening.
2 comments:
Hope today was a good one! Thinking of you...
oh i can SO relate... my trainer wanted me to do jumping jacks once ... i just looked at her and was like, i dont think that can happen right now (this was pre-tuck)...
i tried wearing compression garments during my HARD workouts and they were just too hot. the walks/weights were fine, but nothing too strenuous...
hang in there.. i know its tough and embarrassing. try some tighter biker pants and a longer shirt (umm, be careful they're not TOO tight and split - personal experience here... oopsie)...
good luck!
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